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However, she has discovered the dangers and limitations of the internet, too.Many women experience vicious trolling and abuse online, but trans women are at the receiving end of transphobia – bigotry that also makes dating online far more difficult.As Witt writes, “Google blurred the distinction between normal and abnormal.The answers its algorithms harvested assured each person of the presence of the like-minded: no one need be alone with aberrant desires, and no desires were aberrant.” And online, no identity is aberrant either.
Indeed, society itself didn’t tell us what to do with ourselves or each other after the most major development in sexual technology, contraception, completely altered how we relate to one another.
Having experienced all the terrible dates above, and understanding the wariness that’s necessary for a woman looking for casual sex, I wasn’t surprised to learn that many women are garnering some of their sexual fulfilment not from real people, but fictional romance or fan fiction.
In fan fiction, women take pop culture characters and existing stories and then invent erotic scenes.
This allows for the possibility of having their unique desires fulfilled, but for many the value of being able to connect with like-minded people online is simply having their desires acknowledged, shared and normalised.
Irish people, who have traditionally experienced so much shame around sexuality, can find acceptance and validation at the click of a button.
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“There’s more words of Harry Potter Loves Draco Malfoy fan fiction written than in all of Rowling’s original series – more Sherlock Holmes and John Watson than Conan Doyle ever wrote.