Dating somebody suffering fear of abandonment
Other instances of neediness are dreading, fearing or panicking over small indiscretions or issues.Thus your date may tend to get restless or upset if you fails to meet or reply to his message or call and automatically assume the worst.Above all, make it a point to keep your promises – if you have said you will call, make it a point to do so.Your guy’s abandonment issues is likely the result of broken promises and one way of helping him to overcome them is to show that you can be trusted.Since your partner’s insecurity springs from fear of abandonment, look for ways that will make you both feel more secure in the relationship.These can be small symbolic gestures like wearing a ring given by your boyfriend on your birthday or making it a point to call him every time you leave town on work.A person with severe abandonment issues may force a partner to stay by saying something like 'I’ll end my life if you leave me' or other ways of threatening self-harm.Such people need therapy or at least counseling and if the man you are dating says something similar, he needs to get help and fast.
At its simplest, a person with abandonment issues has a perpetual fear of being abandoned by those close to him.Such people reason with their twisted logic that it is better to stay emotionally aloof rather than leave themselves vulnerable to rejection and its pain again – unfortunately such an attitude often goes beyond simple caution and takes the form of emotional aloofness, lack of intimacy and even a tendency to breakup in a sorry effort to protect themselves from being dumped.Low self esteem Whether your date is clingy or emotionally distant, at the heart of his abandonment issues likes dismally low self-esteem.Select the right time and place bring up the issue of your partner’s insecurity and the way it is affecting your relationship.While your partner speaks, listen carefully since this will give you important clues to what triggers his fears of abandonment.
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Since people with abandonment issues live with a fear of being left alone they tend to cling on to a partner tightly.