Dating older divorced men consolidating student loans perkins
For many men in their 30s and 40s, children may be part of a past relationship, says Bahar.
If these kids are grown, a divorced man may want to experience that part of life again with the right woman — and a new baby.
As Lisa Bahar, MA, CCJP, LMFT, LPCC, of Lisa Bahar Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc., confirms, divorced men may be better in this respect because they have learned the reality of commitment.
She says, “Although there may have been heartache and anguish with the process of divorce, there is a real sense of loss — even though the marriage dissolved, the grief stages (anger, resentment, bartering, denial, etc.) tend to apply, leading up to acceptance.
Not only does he see the bigger picture now, but he knows that he wants someone to share it with.
“While no one should want to rush love or marriage, it’s well-known that divorced men are more motivated to find love post-divorce as they have already ‘been there, done that’ with years of dating and an unsuccessful marriage.
And if you play your cards right, you might even come upon a maturely divorced man who has learned from his failed marriage and plans to use it for a better future, like I did.
From his own personal experience, Armstrong says moving through divorce provided him with outward perspective and motivation.
Based on what she’s seen as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Bahar says, “Many times, there is a possibility that he will marry a younger woman and experience fatherhood in a different way.
There is perhaps tension from other children from a previous marriage if adult and resentful, but on the other hand, there may be more acceptance and awareness if the family divorced and remarried in a considerate and acceptable way.” There’s no guarantee that all divorced men have grown beyond the hurt, but divorce does have the power to change a person for better or for worse.
Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting and relationship psychotherapist, author of on WE tv. Fran says, “It’s better to date and partner with a man who is divorced than single because single men above age 40 generally have a fear of commitment or other unexamined and unresolved issues from their families of origin.” “Fool me twice, shame on me,” might as well be the divorced man’s motto.
For the average single woman, this means you could be sitting across the table from a man who has learned to adapt so that he does not repeat his previous mistakes.